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“Do I Have To Be Good All The Time?”: Vicky Walker

‘Do I have to be good all the time? And other awkward questions’ – Vicky Walker

I was, by all accounts, old enough to know better, and yet…I seemed to find myself in the same tricky situations on repeat. Situations that didn’t feature in the Bible and weren’t really mentioned in church. Situations no-one else seemed to have experienced or at least admitted to – settled, domestically content and often married, as they were – and I, so clearly, was not.

And so I found myself with questions. Questions about how life should be lived as a Christian woman, but one who didn’t tick many Proverbs 31 boxes. I travelled the world, worked in decidedly non-vocational industries in glamorous places with people utterly uninterested in spiritual matters. I didn’t have a home, in the proper sense, nor a husband, nor children, and I had never knowingly sought wool and flax. I had only risen when it was still night if I had a plane to catch. My life had very little in common with the ladies celebrated in the Bible, and around the same amount as the women I knew at church. So, I was confused.  How should I be living? What about these tricky people and scenarios I had no way of avoiding? Would anyone even mind if I was getting into mischief? Was God watching, keeping count? Did I really have to be good all the time?

Minimal reflection on past misdemeanours was needed to see the evidence was not mounting up in my favour. I had an impressive knack for foolhardiness and misplaced certainty. I had crossed lines I hadn’t known were there, and plenty I had decided to ignore. ‘Flee temptation. Don’t take it on holiday to a romantic honeymoon destination and hope for the best’ was the first line I wrote, the re-telling of a situation I had ploughed into headlong and emerged blinking at the other end. One of the many lessons I had learned the hard way. And I suspected there were many more like me out there. Women whose lives crossed over messily between church and life. Whose work didn’t involve changing the world, helping orphans or raising children. Who had to navigate men, managers and misconceptions on a daily basis. Who didn’t fit neatly into church or the world.  And so I wrote about pride, control, friendship, love, romance, relationships and why it probably isn’t a good idea to start a fight with a man who has ‘Cut Here’ tattooed around his neck. Not to give stern advice or answers, but just to ask the questions out loud. To tell other people – because it’s clear from the people who get in touch, that it’s not just girls going through these things – that they’re not the only one who has wondered how it all fits together and what it’s all about. That it’s probably going to be at least a little bit easier if we work it out together.

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Vicky Walker is a writer, among other things. Her first book ‘Do I have to be good all the time?’   is available here and at She has worked in fashion PR, retail, design, events management, charity and somehow found a way to travel the world as a trend spotter. She has an array of lovely friends, who laugh with her and at her. She’s had a few adventures, awkward moments, unusual dates and occasionally wonders out loud about the meaning of life. She tweets as @vicky_walker.

5 comments on this post:

UKViewer said...

Thanks for a quite frank brief pen picture of your life. I am interested that you say that you are not the only one going through life, navigating the hazards, resisting the temptations and avoiding dwelling on it all to much.

I fancy, that many single men, or even married men, might have a similar lifestyle, albeit, they might be more hedonistic.

It’s the ‘resisting the temptation’ bit that I know I found hardest when young, free and single. So, perhaps rushed into a partnership that was supposed to be life long, but failed, half-way through.

How wonderful is hindsight it gives 20:20 vision every time.

Vicky Walker said...

Yes, I’m sure many are experiencing their own temptations, questions and more. I certainly wouldn’t claim to have a monopoly! Thanks for reading and commenting.

Joyce said...

I love to read about the women who led the life when young I thought myself I’d lead when grown.Good on yer, Sister ! Hope it was fun and still is.

07 November 2012 23:02
07 November 2012 21:48
07 November 2012 18:43
Lay Anglicana said...

The 17th century French playwright, Moliere, has replied to this post of Vicky’s at

08 November 2012 22:58

[…] / most moving book I’ve ever written) for the lovely Lay Anglicana blog, which can be read here . (If you haven’t already read ‘Do I have to be good all the time?’, or are […]

23 November 2012 17:22

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