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We have been thinking a lot lately about the trio of Old Age, Illness and Death. We live in a village of 750 people, and a large proportion of us (who met when we were in our early fifties) are all gradually growing old together. It has been a difficult couple of weeks to watch television: first, the agonising story of sadistic treatment of the elderly by their carers, as reviewed by Bishop Alan in ‘Dickens Lives! Bullies Rule OK!’. Not that this was regarded as exceptional by any of us who had watched elderly relatives die in nursing homes. Then on Monday we had Terry Pratchett’s programme, equally ably reviewed by the Church Mouse in ‘Helping people to die and showing it on the telly‘ and Charlie Peer in ‘Terry Pratchett on dying‘.
We discussed these programmes, and the realities of life behind them, at a parish lunch. In the circumstances, it is natural perhaps to concentrate on honing one’s gallows sense of humour. How would we all cope, when the time came to face that ‘Bourne, from which no Hollingsworth returns‘? To cheer ourselves up, we concocted a parish plan. When that day arrived, we would make a party of it, hire a charabanc and set off for Switzerland.
Naturally, we would need to spend the night somewhere en route. What about Paris? Since it was going to be our last night on earth, no expense need be spared. There was some debate about where to stay, but eventually we fixed on the Belle Époque splendour of the Ritz Hotel.
We would be tired, of course, so there was no need to make an early start the following morning. In fact, if we had enjoyed our dinner the first night, why didn’t we spend a second night in Paris and set off for Switzerland the next day? It would be fun to have one last potter around everyone’s favourite foreign city. There was some talk of shopping, which tailed off. There was a moment of quiet at this point. Then someone piped up, voicing what we had all been wondering:
‘The thing is, if we are enjoying ourselves in Paris, and spinning it out, why are we going on to Switzerland exactly? Maybe we should just come home?’
In the words of the taxi-driver in Terry Pratchett’s programme, who had decided to trust his fate to the hospice, ‘why not try just another roll of the dice?’
Grant us, O Lord, the royalty of inward happiness, and the serenity which comes from living close to thee. Daily renew in us the sense of joy, and let the eternal Spirit dwell in our souls and bodies, filling every corner of our hearts with light and gladness; so that we may be diffusers of life, and meet all that comes with gallant and high-hearted happiness, giving thee thanks always for all things. Amen
Notes
1.The illustration is ‘Sand Patterns’ by Royce L Bair, taken in Coral Pink Sand Dunes, Utah. Issued under CCL.
2.The jumbled quote is well-known to anyone over the age of 50 who remembers the old department store Bourne and Hollingsworth but is a parody of the lines from Hamlet’s famous soliloquy:
the dread of something after death,
That undiscover’d country from whose bourne
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
3. Prayer used at the annual service of the Order of St Michael and St George, adapted from a prayer of Robert Louis Stevenson.
On our Saga cruise this year our table talked about setting up a cruise ship for people who didn't want to go into retirement homes so we could all spend out last years being looked after well, but still seeing something of the world – and then be buried at sea. It all sounded rather jolly – like your group's trip to Paris!
Interesting conversations. My reaction to the whole Euthanasia thing is that life is a precious gift from God, who gives it and takes it away when he is ready.
I am very well aware that this 'waiting on God' can involve enormous suffering for those waiting, but also for their loved ones, who grieve before death for what has been lost and after death for the loss of company and shared life together.
I don't and cant believe that God creates suffering as a punishment, I think that it goes with our less then perfect human condition, we bear it, because God made us as we are and our afflictions and suffering are part of his creation. I suspect that the thing which brings people to want to end their life, is the absence of hope.
I have heard the argument that we would not 'treat a dog the way we treat human suffering'. I agree that leaving an animal to suffer unduly is cruel and heartless, but cannot draw that conclusion for the human condition. I can however understand the family of someone suffering wishing and praying for an end to their pain. That is not Euthanasia, it's seeking God's will.
We would all love a quiet, peaceful end, at home with our loved ones, given the time to repent and to be reconciled with all, but life rarely provides those opportunities. We live with violent death, sudden death and a whole range in between. Death is the natural end to life, but the start of a new life in Jesus with our creator. This is the hope which runs through my life and which sustains me.
I pray that it will be present when my time comes as well.
Thank-you, Anne. I think your suggestion is better than the Paris one since it allows for a natural death and does not demand that 'we all go together when we go'!
And thank-you, too, UKViewer. You don't say whether you watched Terry Pratchett's programme (or the subsequent discussion chaired by Jeremy Paxman) but to me the bravest ones were the mother and the wife of those who killed themselves. It was quite clear that they were both personally opposed to their son/husband taking their own lives, and had probably attempted to persuade them to change their minds. But in the end, their love was so strong that they allowed their menfolk to do something which they were against with every fibre of their being but which they felt compelled by love to support.
It was extremely moving.
Of course, if you can still enjoy Paris it might be too early to travel to Switzerland. To me, the saddest thing was the young man who would have liked to live a little longer but who feared he would not be able to travel later. Our rigidity is forcing people to make choices while they still can and that may well be too early.
UK Viewer,
isn't the issue that many of these people would not be alive if it wasn't for modern medicine and that they fear being kept alive by modenr medicine beyond endurance? This has nothing to do with the natural life-span God gave us. And if we can intervene throughout our lives, then why not when we have intervened beyond individual people's tolerance?
It was Arthur Hugh Clough, wasn't it, who wrote:
'Thou shalt not kill, but need'st not strive
Officiously to keep alive.'
It was meant ironically, part of a list of sins which 'the world' had distorted into a list of recommendations which it is easier to keep.
However, I have always felt that it is the right attitude (in fact I was quoted it by a nurse, who did not know that it was originally meant satirically). The fear is that, as you say, modern medicine allows us to prolong life beyond individual tolerance when, if left with only palliative care, people would die peacefully.
I am hopeful that, if it should come to it, a hospice would allow me and those close to me that death.