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Rules: you have to have 12 people, including yourself. Of those there need to be at least four men, at least four women, at least four known to you personally and at least four who are “famous”. You’re not allowed anyone who has passed on to the great hereafter – that would be a rather different sort of party. It needs to be one that might plausibly ‘work’ (ie don’t just pile people together). You also need to choose a place/ style of food.
I am transporting my guests to Calcutta for my dinner party. This is because I can only seat seven friendly people at my 2011 dining table, but when we lived in Calcutta in the 1980s (and were paid by the British taxpayer to give dinner parties – as well as other things, admittedly) I could seat 12. I also had help in the kitchen. The dinner is in 1990, three hundred years since Job Charnock of the East India Company founded the settlement which is now Kolkata, but the dinner is to celebrate the launch of ‘Calcutta Through British Eyes, 1690-1990‘ and, for most of that period, it was called Calcutta.
The menu is:
Smoked Hilsa (Ilich Mach)
Ledikeni and/or Queen of Puddings
The guests (who, thanks to social media, are all famous) are:
The Revd Alan and the Revd Lesley Crawley
Grandmère Mimi of MitCoE
Sr Catherine Wybourne, Digital Nun
The Dowager Duchess (Debo) of Devonshire
Host and Hostess (Robert and Laura)
The windows are open, the noise of Calcutta streets can be heard in the distance, and a musician has joined us for the evening to play the pipes of Krishna from the verandah. He can be heard, like the Pied Piper of Hamelin, luring us into the Calcutta night after dinner and we move to the horse-drawn carriages which take us for a turn around the maidan or central park. The conversation turns to Tagore and the Bengali Renaissance…
………………………………………………
I wrote a book called ‘Calcutta Through British Eyes, 1690-1990‘, published by Oxford University Press in 1991 but now out of print. It was an anthology of the diaries and letters of British people living in Calcutta since its foundation by the East India Company trader, Job Charnock.
I was going to congratulate you on moving to WordPress and find myself a guest at your table! How very nice (for me).
Digital Nun, thank-you so much, and thank-you for agreeing to be kidnapped in this way! I can’t think of a more delightful dinner guest.
I am so sorry that your comment was by mistake waiting for approval and I thought I wasn’t getting any comments because I had hoped I had fixed for comments to be posted straight away. First ‘bug’ hopefully fixed.
Laura, it’s an interesting concept, ‘The Ideal Dinner Party’ and I’ve thought a little about this. I can see scope to have more than one ‘ideal’ as there are so many contexts to think about.
The first consideration is the guest list and do you want them to mix, be sociable and to have a good time, or do you want to have a provocative mix, which will provoke discussion and make for a very interesting conversation (not argument, that’s reserved for church).
Just dealing with a social media personality dinner would be simplest. The menu would have to cater for all tastes and as we are a vegatarian, teetotal household, it would suggest that recourse to a commercial establishment would be more suitable, perhaps hiring a private room, but taking advantage of the service, wine list and menu. Check
For social media guests I see:
Bishop Nick Baines,
Bishop Alan Wilson,
Rev Pam Smith,
Laura Sykes,
Simon Sarmiento
Phil Groom
Maggi Dawn
Dr Bex Lewis
Kathryn Rose
Phil Ritchie
Lesley and Alan Crawley
Rev Richard Haggis
That would be one dinner.
There are just so many, interesting people I would love to meet, that I think that given the number of people that I follow and interact with, I would need about 20 dinners.
Thank-you UKViewer, that’s certainly an interesting list, but you have left yourselves off, so I think you may be bending the rules on numbers somewhat…
I have a theory that it makes for a good party if everyone knows someone there in advance, but no one knows everyone. Although we all know ‘of’ each other because we all blog or tweet about the church, my guess would be that many of this group have never met. But we already know that they have a lot to say to each other, particularly as at a quick glance I think they represent all wings of the church. It’s going to be a stimulating evening!
Dear Mr and Mrs Sykes,
thank you very much for your kind invitation to your dinner party. I am very touched to be on your list but must confess that, considering the other names on it, I have no idea how I managed to slip in.
Having had lunch or dinner with 5 of the people on your list I shall very much look forward to your party and to meeting the others.
I shall spend some time thinking about a perfect guest list for a return invitation in the near future.
As for how to create the ideal dinner party, my only additional contribution would be that a round table is a must so that everyone can join in with the conversation and is not restricted to the people sitting either side or immediately opposite.
I’m stuck with the eternal dinner party conundrum. Do I invite the people I met at the last party and who would expect to be there, or do I opt out and go for a completely different mix, or do I invite some from the last party and not others? Even online the list is a potential social nightmare!
Can I just list those who I’d want to be there, regardless of rules of the game, social niceties and numbers?
I think I will – I’m not one to conform and it’s my party!
The same goes for food. If there is a vegetarian among my guests I will cook vegetarian for everyone, but the “vegetarian” shall suffer my eternal wrath if I discover later that she would have eaten fish or shellfish and that “vegetarian” really only meant “I don’t eat meat”.
And so I think we’ll start with asparagus salad with a tomato salsa and crumbled goats cheese.
Then we’ll have vegetable and pine nut stuffed red peppers… hm, can anyone cope with more goats cheese over the top? Otherwise blue cheese will do nicely… in a rich sauce served on a bed of couscous.
And then there will be pineapple with fresh sugared mint, strawberries with elderflower cream, individual summer berry puddings to a secret recipe and Hotel Chocolat chocolates. Cheese.
We will meet in my house, although it’s small it’s a friendly place that likes to be full of people. 12 will be a bit cramped, I hope no-one stands on formality!
The only rule is: “Do not upset anyone, listen to each other, try to get to know the real person underneath your opinion of them, enjoy their company.”
On my guest list:
Lorna and Robert, of course.
UK Viewer because he’s definitely on my “fascinating people I’d like to meet” list.
Lesley and Alan and Grandmere Mimi and Cathy, because they’re such good fun.
I’d also like to throw Alan Wilson, Karen Armstrong and Libby Purves into that mix. And Rowan Williams. And my special friends F and C whom no-one here has heard of but who would be a perfect addition to such a gathering. That plus my lovely wife makes 14 – out go the numbers!
When are you all coming?
Hi Erika
If there are any leftovers, could you send them here, please? That food sounds good.
Thank-you Erika, I like the sound of your party so yes please…mind you, I think the food had better be virtual, it sounds as horribly fattening as it does delicious!
I meant to say to UKViewer, and perhaps to you too, that this is after all only one of a plethora of parties, so you don’t have to invite everyone at once. I tried to get a mix of Christians and atheists, just to keep us on our toes (David Starkey is an atheist, but I’m not sure about Robert Winston?)
I thought about ++Rowan, but Sam already had him and although we haven’t made it a rule that you can’t repeat guests, I thought it would be better not to (I am also not sure that I am capable of being polite to the archbishop all evening).
Laura,
the food isn’t fattening at all. There are only crumbs of goats cheese over the asparagus salad and only a thin slice of cheese over the peppers. The sauce is made without cheese or cream and the couscous has only a teaspoon of butter in it but lots and lots of herbs. If you stick to the fruit and only have 1 piece of chocolate, the whole meal could even be considered to be healthy 🙂
I didn’t know anyone had already had Rowan, I started this game with your list. Does that mean I can’t invite you and Robert and Mimi and Lesley and Alan either?
Hello again Erika
I have been seeking legal advice from the finest QCs in the land in order to answer your question. After much humming and hawing (and no doubt a large fee) they unanimously opine that he who starts the meme sets the rules. I have therefore posted the following on Sam Norton’s Elizaphanian blog (hyperlink in first line of post):
“But we’ve run into a bit of a problem on the rules – do you think we should be allowed to repeat guests on other people’s lists? For some reason, several people are thinking of inviting Archbishop Rowan. Please advise.”
You reassure me (I am easily reassured on these matters) over the calorific content of your dinner. Please reserve me a large portion…
Thank you, Laura, I look forward to the QC’s expert advice. Should it appear to go the wrong way, do you think he might be bribed? I have home-made sloe gin…
I could cope without Rowan, but it would be very sad if I had to uninvite you simply because I’d already met you at your party.
Dear Erika
I am not sure if this is good news or bad news but the spy system tells me that Sam Norton has just gone on two weeks holiday (his reply to Gurdur on the heathen hub at http://heathen-hub.com/blog.php?b=1262).
So, I think we are entitled to take the law into our own hands (particularly as I do not want to be uninvited from your party, which sounds great fun!)
Let’s party on!
Well, having to resort to legal advice for a guest list for a social occasion, reminds me of a particularly difficult Commanding Officer, who wanted to invite a whole host of prominent people to an Official Cocktail party, mainly on the premise of promoting a book that he had written.
Since I and my fellow Officers were going to be paying for the function through mess bills, and would be to busy hosting these people, to host our own spouses, I objected and consulted the person who interpreted the rules (myself) and ruled him out of order. Off course, my interpretation was challenged, but being pretty good at networking, I had already ensured that those in the pecking order above me were fully briefed, and, as they had not been invited, agreed with my opinion.
So, I wonder if Laura’s legal opinion was just as stitched up as mine? Or alternatively, did Laura, consult News Corp’s former lawyers?
As for meeting Erika, I think that a meeting would be beneficial for me,as I’ve learned so much from reading her in various places and now on the Lay Anglicana forum.
Off course, I will have the privilege of meeting Laura at #cmac11 in October. Who know’s who else will be there?
UKViewer, you do have a strong sense of justice (which I knew) coupled with nerves of steel (about which I was in no doubt): you must have been a formidable match for your commanding officer, who had put himself in an impossible position – glad you were there to call his bluff!
I thought we should abide by Sam’s ruling since it was his ‘meme’, but if he has gone off with his bucket and spade, leaving us here to do all the work, I think he is perhaps fair game! I hope he is not the type to sulk…
(I am also not sure that I am capable of being polite to the archbishop all evening).
Oh well then, I will proceed with my list/menu/venue– For starters, so to speak, I´d love to meet you (you´ve got, what we call around these parts, ¨huevos¨) and sense we can´t be both would have a difficult time being polite ¨all evening¨ to the same person, I´ll invite the Lord of York (and tie him down to the seat at my right).
More later, I´ve got a great idea suddenly. The food? A little firey for archbishops with rigid sensibilities but perfect for the fading bad taste budds.
Leonardo Ricardo
I just returned to America Latina yesterday and found your NEW blog waiting for me…love it and thanks for including me on the sidebar…you´re a peach (and part of my desert plan)
Thank-you, Leonardo. I always enjoy reading your blog – it definitely fires me up!
They do say Mrs Thatcher was the only one of her Cabinet possessed of any ‘huevos’, so I suppose it is a compliment. But I think it might be more fun being Mae West in old age (although I grant you I don’t have her figure)
Hi there,
I have lived in Kolkota, and had the first two guests on your list over to dinner–in Oxford, though!
Hello Anita, I hadn’t realised you were an honorary Bengali like me! The three years we spent in Calcutta/Kolkota were the most interesting for me of all Robert’s overseas postings with the British Council. It says a lot about the Bengalis that when they were (understandably) re-naming the English streets, Theatre Road, where our office was (we had a flat on the first floor) was renamed Shakespeare Sarani (the poor US Consulate address, as you will know, went from Harrington Street to Ho Chi Minh Sarani! Such a naughty tease…)
Ha! A point of order indeed. I see absolutely no problem in inviting whomsoever you wish to whichever dinner party. I actually have it in mind to have more than one entry – after all, it’s not as if perfection can only be found in one combination, is it?! BTW very funny that you found out about my holiday from Gurdur’s blog!
Thank-you, Sam. The wisest judges, I believe, are those who go along with the majority opinion, especially when the ruling is retroactive, but we are grateful to you all the same.
Interestingly, this post is one of the most-read on the blog – I suppose even the most devout Anglican likes the opportunity to talk about something else from time to time, so we owe you our thanks for that also!
Eeek… just spotted this. THANK-YOU
I feel most humbled that you would invite us. Erika and I have been plotting a Dinner in real life with you and Robert, so it might come to pass 🙂
Hello Lesley – since you say on your blog we are allowed to use clichés for comfort, better late than never!
Actually, I would have nudged your elbow, but when we wrote all this you were rather preoccupied…
What atrocious manners! I should have thanked you most profusely ages ago! Do you do the girl-boy thing, or can I sit next to Dr Starkey? It’s deeply flattering. I want to play the game myself now!
Of course you may sit next to Dr Starkey – can I be on the other side of him?
I look forward to reading your version of the dinner party game on ‘Winsome, Lose Some’…