I can hear snorts of derision from some readers at this title, and perhaps see an indulgent smile play about the lips of others. But stay a while – after all it is Saturday morning – for I might – just might – be onto something here.

Let me tell you a story – essentially true, but with perhaps a little embroidery around the edges.

Once upon a time, O my Best Beloved, I worked in a dusty corner of the civil service. As this department did nothing but produce policy papers, we made a policy that we needed no political oversight: we would be our own guardians. We were not worth the attention of any reformers, especially zealous ones. We occasionally conducted ‘surprise’ checks of ourselves and concluded that all was for the best in the best of all possible worlds. We sailed on in these untroubled seas for many years until there arose in the land an Iron Maiden. Not only was she made of stern stuff, but she was filled with reforming zeal. With one thunderbolt she brought into being her Praetorian Guard, the Management and Personnel Office of the Civil Service Department. The era of rule by diktat had begun. Order after order spewed out of this office to all departments of the public service. When these documents reached us, we had no difficulty in filing them in the most remote part of our  repository, saying to ourselves ‘of course, it doesn’t apply to us’. This ploy was successful for many years but eventually the day of reckoning came. Not all, but a great many of these orders did have to be implemented. And because they all had to be implemented at once lest we be overtaken by an avalanche of retribution, the implementation was extremely painful.
Bearing this cautionary tale in mind, you might like to read the current advice from the equivalent of the MPO in local government:

Do you have the committed ‘fit for the future’ workforce you need to deliver your strategic ambitions?

Organisational development (OD) focuses on making sure an organisation has the right ‘fit for the future’ workforce to achieve its strategic ambitions. It includes:

• changing behavioural norms and cultural attitudes
• building workforce support for the new structures
• creating new ways of working to achieve the organisation’s objectives.

Does it still not strike you that there is a lesson here for the Church? Instead of repeating that our ‘organisation’ exists to serve God and therefore management ideas for organising and running human structures are irrelevant, it might behoove us to look at these suggestions with a fresh eye. As we are about to appoint a new CEO (the Archbishop of Canterbury), it seems an opportune moment to do so.

There is a second chapter of my story, quite brief. A new Mikado was appointed from industry to head our department. He sent for me. ‘I want you to be my ventilation officer’ , he said. I thought he had got the wrong Sykes – he must be looking for Bill in maintenance? But no, it seems he was speaking metaphorically. He went on: ‘the atmosphere in here is completely foetid- I feel I have strayed into Miss Havisham’s drawing room. I want you to throw open the windows to let in some air and daylight and I will help you’. I was so flattered to have been picked for this ‘organisational development’ role. I spent the next two years trying to ventilate but, as you can imagine, came up against a wall of opposition. As fast as I flung open the windows, someone would follow me closing them up again. I cannot claim any great victory, but I did manage to let in a few chinks of light. Others that followed made them larger. And so on.

Do you know the game ‘Essences’? If you try it with the Church of England, what do you get? If the Church of England were a room, what sort of room would it be? (I suggest the room illustrating this post). If the Church were a filing system, what sort of filing system would it be? I suggest:

If the Church were a fabric, what fabric would it be? I suggest antique brocade with denim patches. If the Church were a flower? Well, it has to be the Rambling Rector rose, rather a prickly one.

Please let us have any other suggestions in the comments. A car? Perhaps better say means of transport, in case you think it should be a bicycle. Footwear? Menu? Work of literature? Style of architecture?…